can the self wake up and be free from suffering?
Vic Shayne
13 Pillars of Enlightenment: how to realize your true nature and end suffering
What is suffering, really? We all experience physical pain, but psychological suffering is something quite different. Suffering is a symptom of the egoic mind’s reaction to events, hardships, death, sickness, struggles of a loved one, commiseration, frustration, defeat, and even the loss of hope. Is there anything that can be done about suffering to lessen its devastation?
When we ask why we suffer we are really asking a deeper question about the source of suffering and its connection to one’s identity, attachments, tendencies, patterns, and associations. It’s a very human thing to suffer, and we see it in the animal kingdom as well.
The desire to eliminate suffering makes us consider whether compassion is at the core of what we are, because the desire to alleviate suffering is aroused by empathy and sympathy. Stated another way, compassion lies beneath the base level of the sense of self; when selfishness and self centeredness are removed, compassion is uncovered as our fundamental state.
There are many ways that people react to suffering: denial, avoidance, sadness, compassion, and distraction. Some embrace it, which is a curious approach.
“There is a difference between suffering that is resisted and suffering that is taken on board. It is in the acceptance of it that the peace comes.”
— Douglas Harding. Face to No-Face
What does it mean to accept or embrace suffering, and does it really help? And what are we to make of the idea of surrendering to suffering?
Before we can go into this we have to examine who it is that surrenders. Who is the surrenderer? In short, it is the sense of self.
we must begin with the sense of self
The connection between the self and suffering is not an easy one for many to grasp, mainly because they are approaching it from the same sense of self that is all at once causing the suffering and trying to figure it out. This is the irony that causes most other problems with us humans. We are both the foxes and the hen house without realizing it. If we do not realize that the self is not who we really are, then we tend to become defensive by responding: “Why are you blaming me for my own suffering? That seems a cruel thing to do. I don’t accept this idea!!” Stop relating to the self as who you are and you won’t be offended.
The self isn’t who you are, it’s who you think you are.
If you have read my other articles, as well as my book Self is a Belief, then you’ll be familiar with what I mean by the self. If not, here it is in a nutshell: The self is the person you take yourself to be and it is formed at the earliest age from the imposition of other peoples’ ideas on your own mind and brain. Thus, from the earliest age you take in information from parents, relatives, culture, authority figures, teachers, and others, and then form your identity and attachments from this secondhand information. The you that you take yourself to be, then, is simply a concept and not a reality. It’s a mirage created out of thoughts.
You allow other people to inform you of who you are.
the self cannot fully see or fix itself
In suggesting that the self is the cause of suffering, the so-called cure does not come from greater understanding, learning about the self’s tendencies, practicing to be better, positive thinking, or performing analyses. This is because it is the self that is involved in such activities, which means that the self is trying to correct itself, which is not enough to make a difference. At best a particular instance of suffering may be allayed, yet future suffering is sure to occur because no real transformation has taken place as long as the self is still in charge of its own attempts to be free of what it alone is causing.
When the self is used to observe itself and to see its faults, the likely outcome may be self-loathing, depression, denial, or the making of excuses. These reactions, of course, do not help in the least, because the self is more apt to become defensive or reactive than to appraise the situation without bias.
When unalloyed observation of suffering takes place, without the image-making, judgmental, critical, partial self, then something new happens in the way suffering is perceived. A metaphorical light turns on so that the self may be seen as it is, which is a phenomenon created out of thought imposed on you by others and by a way of thinking that incorporates the ideas and conclusions from external sources.
Observing without the self is an internal process, a subjective process instead of an objective one. The self objectifies aspects of itself and thereby fragments itself away from its own identity.
“We are slaves to what we do not know.”
—Nisargadatta Maharaj
who would want to recognize the self?
To face suffering by recognizing the self takes a certain amount of desire. You have to know that this is what you want. Otherwise we are only talking about theory and not an actuality. If you do not want to face the self then there are other avenues available, from reconditioning the mind to diversions.
For those very few who are tired of the merry-go-round of life’s ups and downs and cycles, observing the self to eventually be free of its hold is worth the investigation. In the least, it is helpful to understand the nature of the self in the process of your personal evolution.
the self never wakes up
While it is the self that is the source of suffering, the self can never wake up, because it is a mirage, and a mirage cannot wake up, nor can it transcend itself. The identity as the self is so strong that we don’t even recognize that we have it. As selfs, we are too close to our selves to see our selves objectively or subjectively. While the self can detect that something is wrong with it, such as depression or anxiety, it cannot ever see itself without bias or independence. This is because the self is created out of thought, and thought is always an artifact of the past, yet what is beyond self is not in the realm of thought and exists only in the present. However, since our true nature is actually consciousness, we are capable of observing without the use or overlay of the self, and in this observation there can be clarity of what the self is and how it causes suffering. This takes a special kind of meditation called self-enquiry — an enquiry into the self using only one’s choiceless attention and no thought, memory, information, teachings, or any other tool.
To be sure, suffering is not going to go away simply by seeing what it is. However, the insight marks the beginning of something extraordinary — something to build upon. It becomes apparent that the same power of observation can be used to see a wide range of emotional issues, from anger to fear to cravings, and so on.
When the self is moved out of the way, so to speak, it becomes obvious that the self is the cause of our emotional issues and their ability to torment the self.
